Tsk.

It's been a loooooooong time

Actually salah juga sih masih bangun jam segini.. It's 01.22 by the way. Jam-jam galau anak muda masa kini. Kekinian banget nggak sih gue~

Tsk.

It's not that I feel so weak jadi mesti dikasihanin, no baby, I am not that weak. At least, I don't want to be seen so di depan orang. But.. Actually I am.

Nggak tau udah berapa lama since I was back to where I should be. Don't know why, time flies slower this time. I wanna be stronger but I can't be this time. I want to make everyone happy but I shouldn't this time. I wanna make everyone smile but I need my own smile.. This time.

I know, I have someone who can make me smile all the time, but actually I feel so wrong when I let him to endure the pain of my own fault with me. To suffer and hear my hurtful voices everytime I call when I need him the most. Buat ikut sakit ketika I know he doesn't deserve those pains at all. Ikut nanggung these hardships of living without someone who you love the most. I wanna be sorry, but I can't be. This time I can't be. He's willing to accompany me and showering me with loves and smiles.

Tsk.

It's just... I really need to be back. I wanna be back. I gotta be back. Like seriously.

Pity me.

Yes, I am. Aku paham who I am. I know a bunch of people wanna be me, no guys, we have our own lifes. Yes maybe mine seems so perfect, my study, my carrier, my perfect family, my amazing soon-to-be husband, wealth, apa lagi yang dibutuhin manusia? But guys, maybe you're luckier with your own. So.. Let everyone be what everyone should be.

Tsk.

I know that.. Sorry to be a burden, my lovesssss 👪👭👭💑